Ben Schneider's Journal

Hello friends...

I have a mission for anyone willing to go the extra Mile! I need songs from the 80s... I also need them to have a basic theme around them... The Theme is "Working" and "Playing". If you could give me the Title, artist name or band, and the year it was big in the 80's that would be amazing... I will explain more later! Thank you all!

time to talk
"Life is an amazing thing. Remember the people who made your life amazing. The things they did for you when you were little and helpless, or when you just needed someone to be there. Remember the good times and even the bad. Remember the life and times of the departed."

Like the title says I think it's time to talk about it... If you have not heard, My grandmother Ruth Schneider went home to her husband and 2 sons friday morning at 12 30am. 2 weeks ago she feel out of her wheel chair and broke her hip. She went to Fort Hamilton for emergency surgery and never came out of it. She went straight to hospice to get better but she didn't. After 2 weeks of fighting and being stubborn, she was called home. I said my good byes that wednesday before "Barefoot" and it was hard... I talked to her while she was hooked up to tubes and "sleeping". She moaned a couple of times and I still think that she heard me. I wanted her to sit up and talk to me, tell me that it was all going to be alright... But she just laid there in the bed and fought. I talked to her about the old times we had. I told her how proud I was to be her grandson and what an influence she had on my life. I reminded her about the camper trip we took... i was about 11 or 12 and she came to my school and picked me up and took me straight to brookville where she had a camper house ( This was NOT a white trash sort of thing). We got there and I helped her clean up the yard, and put fire wood in the pit. We had supper and sat out by the fire talking, laughing and just being friends. We soon went inside and watched Miss America on her little 10 inch tv, black and white, with rabbit ears :) We then went to bed and I remember waking up and for the first time Grandma offered me coffee... IT WAS AWESOME! We sat outside and listened to the birds sing in the trees and watched the sun come up. We worked aldol more on the house and then went home... I will never forget that as long as I live.

She was an amazing woman and I don't know if I would have turned out the way I am, if it wasn't for her. She taught me to sing, be myself, live life for all its worth, and to care about pl. The only regret is that I never told her that I was gay... I just thought that she wouldn't understand you know? That she would be upset over nothing and I think that our love was so strong it wouldn't have mattered. I told her when she was in hospice so I guess thats close enough but I'm sure she knows now :)

i wanted to thank everyone for the cards, flowers, IM's, emails, and thoughts and prayers. I have some of the most amazing ppl in my life and I cant imagine what it would be life with you all! Thank you for helping this hard time pass...

NEW TOPIC!

Barefoot in the park was this weekend as well and it was AMAZING! The cast and crew did such a great job and I was so happy for them. We had wonderful attendence for a play and the ppl who came to see it loved it alot... That made me feel good. I thought that everyone in the cast did an outstanding job, but I must give it up for Maria... I have never seen Maria act so welll in my life. She was so dedicated to the part and each night I found more then 1 thing I liked about her character. She was amazing and I had such an awesome experience. I also want to thank Justin Rampa for being my rock during the show. He and I would have talks about everything and it was nice to vent every once in a while about school and work.

Tomorrow Im back to the school and hoping that the kids will talk it easy... God help us :)

peace

What are we living for?
What are we living for?

This is the question that has been on my mind. I know that I haven't written anything in a while but seriously I think its time to express something. Some people live for their career, their family, their friends, money, power, love... What happens when you get to the point where living is an inconvenience? Where its only keeping you back from true happiness?

I ask this because the past 3 major holidays I had to go and visit my grandmother in a retirement home. Each time it has gotten worse and worse. Today was the final time... She was taking a nap and woke up when we came to see her. She talked out of her head for most of the time we were there and just started blaming my dad for everything... One thing after another... She would talk about how the house looked like shit or why the dog won't come to see her... She had NO idea that she was in a retirement home. She forgot my name about 75% of the time and she kept asking about Colin and where he was. The worst part is that my evil aunt was there the same time we were and she was belittling her OWN mother... Treating her like she was an idiot, saying "mom you don't know what your saying stop talking you are embarrassing us", and making jokes about grandma being old and "senile". What is wrong with people?!?! I know that she was a little out there and Definitely not the same Grandma but NO ONE has the right to call her names, or belittle her. I hate that... and I NEVER want to go through that.

My dad has gone through this whole thing for about 6 months now and he turned to me as we were walking out and said "I don't ever want you to go through this... I want you to end my life if it gets that bad". I can't help but think that dying that old becomes a burden on the people that you used to love so much. My grandma has treated my dad horribly because of her age and the semi heart attack she had. It also didn't help that my Grandfather died 3 years ago and she NEVER got over it.

This is one holiday I will not forget in a long time. I wish that it would go back to the way it used to be. The family coming over to Grandma's house to eat and talk and laugh. We would have HUGE egg hunts and get a ton of candy. Grandma would help us find them and Grandpa would take them out of the baskets for fun. What happened to that? Today we went to her house and started taking things that we wanted. We started taking the memories with us in boxes and making the house look like a scene from the Twilight zone. My brother would kill me if he knew I said this but he couldn't take the emotions of the day. As we were looking at things that we wanted, he broke down and cried. He had to leave b/c it was too much for him to go through. I haven't seen Colin cry like that in a Long time. It pissed me off so much that our whole life is different now. Everything from traditions, to birthdays. Family and friends. Relationships and careers. Everything is a mess and I can't get out of it.

Things will get better... Yes I know this. I will continue with life and become a better teacher, son, boyfriend, friend, and one day father... but it's going to take some time. I have decided that Colin and I will be going to mom and dads for the holidays with our kids every year. I want to keep the traditions alive in us and my kids... one day...

" For the road that we travel is best traveled with a mind set goal, and a heart set for life and love. Never turn back when the road gets rough, just trust in yourself and learn from your teachers..."

Warning... This WILL be long :)
First off... Thank you GOD for the snow. B/c of the snow, I will NOT be teaching tomorrow and I can finally catch up on normal things like laundry, lesson plans, memorizing lines, ect.

2. Teaching is going well for me. I didn't know what I was getting into to be perfectly honest. It's a different world then I had thought and I really like it. Both schools have their ups and downs but I think that I'm winning the kids over. I have been prepared everyday with new material and the students are learning a great deal of things. The staff is awesome! I really feel like I fit in as a teacher with them and at the moment no one is treating me like a "new guy". The past two weeks have been a little crazy because the kids are testing me out and I understand that. Last week I gave my first DT to a student who wouldn't stop talking or running around. It was crazy! Today b/c of the early Dismissal, the kids were climbing on the walls. I made a little boy cry because he ran to his spot after I told them not too. He is one of those kids that NEVER gets in trouble and when I told him to sit out of the warm up game, he broke down in tears and sobbed for about 5 min... I felt like the WORST person in the world. I wanted to go over and say don't worry about it but again I set an example and I really think that the kids are getting it. So the world of teaching is treating me well and I know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

3. Last weekend Kyle and I went to Cbus to see Kathy Griffin live... Let me just say that I think that she is SO funny and I can't begin to tell you all how much I laughed. She was nailing every joke and it was so funny. She made fun of everyone in the celeb news from Star Jones to Brittany. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Kyle got us the tickets so I went to his place on friday and stayed the night, then we got up and drove to CBUS to shop and meet up with his friends. We had dinner and then went to see Kathy. After kathy we went to a gay bar which was VERY cool. Lots of fun music/videos going on and such a great place. Now I don't want this to sound bad but I'm only writing this b/c it was so out of place and funny to me. All weekend Kyle and I have been talking about meeting Kathy after the show to ask her some questions, get her pic, and ask her who is hotter.. I know I know, it sounds stupid but we are totally joking. So we go into the bar and in about 15 min of being there some girl came up to the both of us and asked "Are you 2 seeing eachother?" Which I replied "Yes we are." The girl then looks at both of us and says, "Oh well ok." Kyle then asks why she asked and she said "b/c I have a friend who is single and wanted to know if you were dating eachother." Kyle then asked which one was the "friend" looking at. and she said "oh you (me) b/c you are taller and yea..." So the rest of the night kyle went around and said Ben 1 kyle 0. He is a tool but I had a great time with him. We had to wake up around 7 30 on sunday to get home... Not fun but I had a great weekend!

4. Oklahoma is going well. We have learned most of the blocking for the dances and I think that the dances are going to really amaze people. I think that Chris did a great job with the numbers. I love meeting the new cast and reuniting with the older people from "Evita". It makes me happy to remember that show and all the people in it. Someone had made a reference to it and we all started singing "Rollin on in". It was very funny! I really love my part as well. Not a lot of lines and I really like being the character actor this time. I just love the cast, the blocking, and everything. I'm glad I have something to do outside of school.

5. Like I said before, Kyle and I went to Cbus so it was a great time. He and I have been dating for about a month and it's going well. I really enjoy hanging out with him and the fact that he doesn't think I'm annoying :) You will all be able to meet him soon because he will be coming with me to see "The Crucible" sometime that weekend. I haven't told him yet but he will :)

6. The director's workshop with Pat is really picking up. I thought that it was going to be kind of weird and pointless b/c I have already directed a show before, but I have learned alot from Pat and the others in the class. Last Monday we had to block a "Contentless scene" and come up with the plot, setting, characters, and whatnot. Everyone in the class did so well and I really liked the different blocking ideas people came up with. For our "Final" Pat wanted us to block a scene from a show. It had to be around 5 to 10 min. I'm doing a scene from "Blithe Spirit" Which now I REALLY want to direct when I get a little older. I let Janet have a sneak peek (also to ask if it looked ok) and she said that it was good. So that made me happy. I'm excited to block it for Pat and have her and the other classmates see it :)

Well I think that is enough for now. I will try to keep you all up to date with teaching and my life. I will try to put down but teaching moment of the week so you can all laugh at me later! Enjoy the Snow day tomorrow or BE CAREFUL driving to work!

Peace all

Can't sleep
I can't sleep. I know I should be sleeping but I can't. I have had some nights like tonight and I think it's because of the stress that I'm under. I don't want this to sound like a pity me party but everything is happening so fast in my life. I got a job, I have a relationship thats blooming, and I have rehearsals...

The job is going to be fun. I will be teaching K-6th grade at two schools. Grant every Monday and Thursday and Buchanan Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. I like the majority of the classes so far but again I need time to win them over. Friday was a hard day for me because I saw the best kids and the worst kids. Some didn't want to be in music, some loved it, some had IEPs, some had problems, some had attitudes, and some gave me hugs. It was a bittersweet day of teaching. I was telling them that I will be the new music teacher and most of them were ok with it. I just need to be on my game. I spent the day working on lesson plans for all of them. I'm a little nervous about the 5th and 6th graders so I have decided to do some complex stuff with them and also create a program for them to do in May. You know me... The program is going to be "Broadway's best" :) j/k I don't know what I will do but I want them to help me with it. Give them a say in all of this. I remember getting a new teacher half way through the year and it was hard for her and us but I need time and I think that it will all work out.
ps I'm the ONLY male teacher at Grant and the 3rd male teacher at Buchanan. Sorry Ladies but I'm closer to you then the men :)

This weekend was a good time to relax and chill after the stress of getting a job. I got to hang with Kyle. He is a graduate of OU in Athens. A Finacial adviser for a cincinnati business who lives in a pretty nice apartment. He and I have been talking for a while and it just worked out that we would start dating. He is very nice, down to earth, and loves to listen to me talk (Which is HUGE for me b/c I don't stop).The funny thing about his background is that his mom is a general music teacher ... I laughed to myself on that one. So this weekend I spent it with him in cinci. Friday night we just hung out and watched tv. Saturday we went to "Champs" for dinner and then went to see "Children of Men" where I ran into Justin Rampa and Allison. I thought that the movie was very creepy and kind of futuristic but I still have half and half thoughts about it. It was good but a little too weird for me :) I heard that Rhonda and Brett were there but I didn't see um so sorry guys! We rushed home and chilled by the TV. He is a great guy and I'm looking forward to this relationship...:)

Rehearsals for Oklahoma are going well. I like it alot. I think that the cast is awesome and I love going to hang with Twig.. She is amazing! I laugh everytime I see her. If you are in the cast, and reading this, Call her "Triple Threat" from now on... She loves it. Tomorrow night Chris is going to chore. "Kansas City". I hope its a crazy dance :) We will see....

Well this is my update and I will be telling you all about the students when I effigial start:)

Peace and love
Benny

I GOT A JOB!
Well the title tells you everything! This morning I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. I answered it and it was lauren Sprague from Hamilton High asking me if I wanted the Sub position. I said sure and I had to get dressed and drive over to the Board of Education office. I got there to sit and talk to Lauren a little about the job and I also met the Principle of the school Mr. Car. He is a very nice man who LOVES the Arts in his builds :) That is awesome! They gave me 10,000 forms I had to fill out and said GO!

I drove to Miami to get my transcript and my TB test stuff. It was crazy but I had to do it. I met with Ethan who was so proud(which makes me happy) and chatted with him for a little bit about tour and Club. I'm so excited for Glee Club this year because its the 100th Anniversary of Club! SO anyway I ran back home to fill out more of the papers and so I could ask mom some questions :)

I drove back to the Board and gave them everything that they needed and she said "Great! You will start tomorrow at Grant." This is where I almost peed myself b/c I thought "HELLO!!!! I'm not ready OMG". So I took a breath and left the board to go and meet with Chrissy Fox (The teacher I'm taking the place of)

PS The situation is crazy b/c Mrs Wallick is leaving the end of next week and they need someone to take her spot for the rest of the year. So Mr. Burkammier (sp) Took that position and Chrissy is moving up to the Freshman position which left a spot open for general music.

So I drove over to talk with Chrissy and had a good chat with her. I will be teaching on a stage in the gym with k-6, 30 mins a week twice a week. They kids love her and I'm alittle nervous about it so far but she has talked me up to them and I think that it will all be great. I'm just worried at this point b/c it all happened so fast!

I went over to janets to talk to her about it and she gave me some good advice. It's nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through and how CRAZY it is when you get a job. I'm very excited and super nervous but I think I will be ok. Tomorrow night I have to be at showchoir at 6 so the high schoolers will be hearing this a lot tomorrow. They are getting ready for their competition in marysville on Saturday!

OK well Im going to go and look up some music stuff. Please keep me in your prayers this week and next! Thank you all!!

Peace

Happy What?

SO I thought about writing my entire NYC trip online but it's just better to review the main parts of the trip...

1. Driving 12 hours to NYC is NOT fun unless you have 4 of your best friends in the car with you

2. Beth's apartment is the size of the Changing room at the Hamilton Theatre(we all slept there)

3. A strange woman takes us 5 blocks away from the main area in China town to a strange build by a lobster place where she unlocks 2 doors in order for us to see all the purses:) Kristina buys 4 :)

4. I have a girlfriend named Tiffany. She is wrapped around my thumb finger

5. Underwear and other shopping with JV at H&M is awesome

6. Seeing "Gray Gardens" in the very last row of the balcony. Kristin Eber. was amazing!

7. The Body Exhibit was the coolest thing I had ever seen

8. New year's eve, we all brought sexy back

9. Strange men on the subway who either yelled at our compassion or rapped

10. New Years day watching almost an entire season of "Will and Grace" then friends, then a movie, the Iron Chef.

11. Saying goodbye at 4 am and leaving to go back to Hamilton

12. The best trip I have been on in a while

I had such an amazing time with Beth, Carrie, Woody, and Sarah. I never want to go back to NYC during New years, but I loved the fact that we were all together and having a blast!

Oklahoma started yesterday and I know that it's going to be a good time. I love the cast already and we laughed alot at miss Twig who is going to make this show so fun. It was weird to be back sitting in a rehearsal with a huge group of people but it sounded good. Who knew that the music to Ok was so hard... I DIDN'T!! This is going to be a great show and I can't wait to start blocking and dancing.

THe showchoir kids are rockin it! I love Edgewood and I know that this year was a building year for them but MAN they are looking awesome. The show concept is brilliant and the song selections are going to make it awesome. The kids have worked so hard and they will be going to Marysville this weekend so keep them in your thoughts!

I have more to write but I have to go and do some stuff! Love you all and I hope that everyone had a very happy new Year!

Peace out... Benny

God Bless us everyone
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! I hope you woke up to lots of Presents under the tree...

" Bless this day of family and friends. Watch over your people as the love and warmth of their hearts are lifted to your day of birth"

Currently Listening...
Merry Christmas
By Mariah Carey
All I want for Christmas Is You

So many things have happened in the past month. Lets begin with the basics shall we?

"Smoke on the Mountain" went very well. We had an amazing time and I actually liked the show after it was done. It was such a different show to act in and I felt that it was the hardest role for me. I had to play a character that was uptight, mean, and rough. I was an excon from prison who came to live with my brother and his family. I also sang and played the bass in the show. That was huge! So many people after the show said that I sounded like Jonny Cash. I laughed alot and so everynight I tried to go a little further with it. How Jonny Cash can I sound or be :) I also had a blast working with the cast. I was nervous to work with Larry but he is such a good person. Alittle crazy at times but if I needed anything he was there. I loved meeting new people as well like Rachel and maryjoe (sp). They were so fun to work with and had such amazing talent. Chris, michelle, and Marcus just made the show for me. I love them and working with them was great! Working also with janet was great b/c it took me back to the days of High school. I love working with janet b/c she understands what she is talking about and really gets into the show she is working on. Whether it is something little with a character or the "big picture" she is very good about changing it so it makes everything click. I LOVED working with Julie Joyce Smith. I couldn't get over how amazing she is at directing people. She was so calm about EVERYTHING in the show and so patient with everyone. I hate directors who are screaming and yelling everytime you mess up, Julie just went on and said "Keep going". I never felt stupid to be on stage and I thank Julie for giving me such an opportunity to do the show. it was amazing!

Student teaching was amazing. I loved working with the high schoolers and I have definitely made some new friends. Last Wednesday was the choir concert at the high school and I must say that it was a LOT of work. The kids sounded great, the showchoir was wonderful, and the audience was a good size for a wednesday night. I was able to conduct all the pieces for the concert choir, and then I had to run the CD player. It was fun and I really love Sue Combs. She made this little speech about me near the end and I swear that I wanted to cry. She is such an amazing music teacher with the students. She cares about what they do and plans such a great concert. I just loved it. The next day (Last Thursday) was "Mr. Schneider" day. So all the students could bring in food and drink if they wanted and we listened to Christmas music and hung out. WE had a lot of different food and snacks to eat. The showchoir gave me money during the week and we surprised Miss. Combs with a brand new CD Boombox for her to take along with her for the showchoir and to play the new music if the sound system breaks. She loved it and the kids really liked it. I also gave all the kids a little stocking with some candy in it. they liked it and some of them also got me a couple of gifts. I'm really going to miss those kids but I'm also going to help with their competition show and everything so I will be around.

So last Friday I graduated from Miami university of Oxford! I was so pumped but in all honesty, I thought that the graduation ceremony was LAME! We had a crappy speaker, Lots of crazy kids who were just talking the entire time, and the best is that all 5 of the music kids were there to graduate... Kevin lambert and I just laughed lol The school of fine arts also has Pink tassels so thats what i had to wear. The best story is that one girl in the business school was wearing a pink tassel for graduation. Kevin and I looked at her and thought "How did she get a pink tassel" So of coarse we had to go ask and she said "I picked this one b/c it was pink..." She is graduating from MIAMI with a BUSINESS Degree and she picked out a PINK TASSEL! OMG we were crying... It was also sad to say my goodbyes to Sarah baker, Kevin, and JonnyO! I couldn't believe that we had been through so much in 4 years and now we are "REAL People"... So after we took some pics, I went home and hung out with the parents.

The last thing I will say is that I'm going to be playing the part of "Will Parker" in Rotary's Oklahoma! I'm very excited to be working with people and eating a Rotary hot dog!!! YEA!!!

Sorry it was so long but you know... :)

peace and love

Time flys I guess
What can I say about the past couple of weeks?! It seems that things are falling into place with life. I don't know why I have this positive feeling and this overwhelming calmness of the future. I guess that my life is taking a turn for the better... It's a nice feeling.

This is my fifth week at the high school with Sue Combs and I couldn't be happier. Everyday I go to Edgewood ready to teach with a smile on my face. I was so scared the first week because I thought that the students were NOT going to like me or my style of teaching but I think that its better now. The Showchoir is awesome and I love it. The kids are amazing and talented kids with A LOT of personality. Today was an interesting day because it was "Senior Skip Day" so half the showchoir was out but we had fun with the rehearsal. Their show concept is amazing and I can't wait til they start competing. They are gonna go far this year. I also love the 2 concert chorales that we teach. They are singing many different christmas songs and I get to conduct 2 of them. I'm very excited about it! Sue is such a great role model for the me to have. She has a very different style then Diane Wallick but I'm glad I got to see both styles. The drama classes are doing Monologues and they are exciting. I was able to direct some of them. Sue gave her Monologues from "Steel Mags" and I almost cried in front of the kids. I did mine from 'Smoke on the Mountain" and they liked it. Student teaching is going well...

"Smoke on the Mountain" is very fun and interesting all at the same time. This is going to be one of those shows that will have people talking for a while. The cool thing is that we all play instruments while acting and singing. I was telling the drama classes about it and one boy said "HOLY CRAP! You have to sing and play all at the same time! I'm totally coming to see it!" Sue has been advertising it since the beginning so it will be great to see the EHS students there supporting the cast. I love Working with the cast and J2 and janet are so fun! We are at a place now where we can run through the shows with stops but can sing, play, and act, through the whole thing... I will be passing along the dates next week! If you get a chance to look at the poster then please do. It's veyr funny and we all look so goofy.

My personal life is going I guess. I started seeing Sam again and we have really hit it off. We try to see eachother as much as possible but the weekends are about the only time to do so. He was nice enough to go see the Opera with me (Which was amazing) and he thought it was cool. He is not a big person in the arts but wants to learn about it. I really like that I can teach him about music, Opera, Musical Theatre, and other stuff. It's nice to have that. I don't know what is wrong with me but I really like what we have.. Crazy crazy I guess. I will keep you all updated lol.

I still miss my friends at MU but I get to see them every so often. I just saw JonnyO, Patty, and many others on Sat for the Global Rhythm concert. It was great and it just reminded me how much I love them all. JonnyO is going to be a Disney Character for Disney Land :) I think it's brilliant and I know that he will do a great job. I'm going to see Kate and Woody's Recital in a couple of weeks. I'm so proud of Woody so much and I can't wait to see her in action.

Well I think that is all for now but I will write more later! peace everyone!

isterhood sir...

I had a very long day of school, working out, dinner with the family, and then some crazy grandma time... But then I came home to watch an amazing movie called, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Now I have heard people talk about this movie for a while and I never really had the desire to see it. I thought that it was going to be about a bunch of girls and teenage problems. I'm teaching high school right now so I really don't need to hear about any more drama. But as I flipped through the channels and found NOTHING to watch, I decided to watch it...

Now I don't know what happened to me during this movie but I decided to go into a very sad, depressed, state where (and I kid you not) I cried for about 10 minutes, near the end. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? The movie is about these 4 girls who are on summer break and each girl is going through something in their life. Dealing with a new family, death of a parent and hiding the feeling of emptiness, being a "loser" and no one caring, and fighting for love and what you believe in. To some of you reading this, you might be saying to yourself "I have seen that plot 500 times before", but it puts a huge spin on everything. The friendship that the girls have and the drama that they face was so related to my own life. What did that mean? Why did this movie make me so emotional? Questions that I have been thinking about after the movie was over...

My life is always changing and I feel that this year it has changed weekly. Student teaching, learning about money, becoming a "Real person", Saying goodbye to friends and moving in with the parents. So many things changed in a matter of months that september was so hard. I look back on the memories of college and think "Why am I not there? Living with my friends and holding on to what is important?" But I have moved on... Life moves on and things change everyday. I haven't told many people this but I thought that i was going to HATE student teaching at the high school. I love elementary kids and I just thought that high school would be drama, and nothing more. I have had the most amazing 2 weeks at Edgewood and as I was conducting "At Last" at the concert on thursday, I thought to myself "I could teach high school..." I still want to learn as much as I can about elementary music and Orff, but I also want to focus on high school rep and show choir stuff. I need PIANO LESSONS ASAP, but I'm getting there.

Why do I question my life everyday? Why can't I live life day by day, not looking into the future and hoping that it all turns out a certain way? Why can't I take the advice of so many and think "NO DAY BUT TODAY"? I have recently started watching "Brothers and Sisters" on ABC and I love how it portrays a family with problems but a strong bond that they have to each other. I also love that they portray one of the brothers as a very straight acting, successful, homosexual. His relationship with the other man is so cute and very meaningful even in the early stage of the show. It's funny how he hates PDA, is insecure about men, but he knows how this is going to work and to "try it." The part that I loved in the last episode was when Kevin and the "Date" were apologizing for being honest and open, and after they both talked, they said something to the effect of "We are doing the thing again. The thing where we stare at eachother and never look away". I think it was brilliant. I want that... The guy who is straight acting, successful, and open to new things. I wish I could just date the Kevin guy on the show :)

This is a LONG entry and I hope that it didn't put u to sleep... night all!

What a Weekend it Was...
What a weekend it was...

Just like the title says...

Friday- It was a great day in end my first week of student teaching at the high school. I'm having a great time and I love Sue Combs more then life. She is so energetic, funny, and brilliant. I enjoy the schedule of the day and it seems to go a lot faster then the elementary. The show choir is amazing. I had to be a bad guy and tell them to hush but I think its ok. They are really talented and so fun to work with. The end of the day is always fun because it's the drama classes. The students are doing scenes and Sue asked me to help with them. I love it. So all in all, high school is a lot of drama but I love teaching it :)

Friday night I went to see "Have a Nice Day" with janet. We sat at the little table waiting for the show and some old friends come in. Justin R, Allison, Rhonda, and her nephew. It was a good time. I enjoyed the show but I NEVER want to see it again. :) It was cool to see Megan and Brett on stage and it also reminded me of Scotland a little (just b/c of the 70's section that we had). Drew and Jake were really funny and I have to give props to Mr. Brown b/c he didn't have a voice all week and that night he was better. I just can't get over the smiling that they all had to do... TOO MUCH even for me :) Congrats to everyone in the show and to Mr. B ...

Saturday I went shopping to try and find some gifts for people, some clothes for myself, and just to get out of the house. That night I went to the Glee club/Chorale concert. I was in Aww the entire time. Chorale was up first and I really think the sound and blend was awesome. Tooder is so good and her solo was amazing. I was so proud of my girlfriend :) I enjoyed seeing the Mergers debut. They sang "Hide and Seek" and I thought it went well. I told a couple of them that the melody of the song needed to come out more but I still thought it was a good sound for them. Chorale also sang another song by Eric Whitaker and I was amazed. He is one of the most brilliant composers of our day and the music was so different. The different tri tones, dissances, and chords that he used really jumped out at the listener... I was impressed

Glee Club was a little overwhelming for me. The Cheezies stared the show off with "The Freshman". I really enjoyed it and I love seeing Dean on stage b/c he was my voice student and wanted to be in club so bad. I was so proud when he made club and then I flipped when he made Cheezies. He is a really good kid and I'm so proud of him making everything and starting off a great sophomore year. They also sang "Signed, sealed, delivered". Good job Cheezies!

Then a video started to play and it was the intro to the Glee Club documentary that Dan Hayes is making and I was speechless. It was so great to see some of the video clips of last year and relive some of those memories. I really miss Club and that video brought it all rushing back. I was sitting with John G and we both thought that it was a sweet intro video. I'm very excited to see the whole thing.

Club started out singing this Echo song, which was amazing, and then moved on to different rep. They sang "How Many Devils" and the soloists were Nick P and Eric C. I so proud of both of them. Their voices have developed alot and What a great sound. Club sang some more and then the remmies started.

I thought that the remnants were very strong. They had a nice blend of voices and a lot of energy from the older members. I still think that some of the members need to not be as shy but they will get used to it. I loved seeing benjamin Walker being so spunky and energetic on stage. He is a good kid and I see a lot of potiental in him to come. I just thought that they did an amazing job and I'm so proud of my boys.

Club started up again and they sang " Take me Home". I was freaking out b/c Patty and Sean H were the soloists and patty's voice is so amazing. He has grown so much this year vocally and everyone can tell. He was comfortable on stage and so ready to sing out and perform. I was so proud of him. Club then sang Jiva Jive and then asked all the alumni to come up... It was so weird to be up on stage, not in a tux, and watching everyone do it. I stood by Jared, thank God, and I thought about the past memories the entire time. Then Patty came up to conduct and I winked at him. I still can't get over him as President and what an amazing job he has done this year for the group. I talked to everyone about him and they all say that he is such a great leader. Again ... So proud. When we started to sing "A Parting Blessing" I started to choke up a little. it was a lot to take and I loved hearing and seeing all the guys. My babies have all grown up :)

Sunday I had all day to recover from the the busy weekend and then I had to go to rehearsal at 2. I'm having a great time with the cast and the show is going to be good. it was so funny that John G knew what the show was and he can't wait to bring his family to see it. I loved that! Julie and Janet are doing some great things with the show and I hope that everyone will come and see it.

Well I have said too much some I'm going to peace out! I love you all and God bless...

Current Music: Diana Krall

The first week of student teaching at Edgewood went well. I'm really happy to be with the older kids and I love it. I was kind of mean to the show choir today but it's because they are so good and they need to work harder. They are going to kick butt this year at competition and I have a lot of faith in them. Ohhhh high school.

Break a leg tonight and tomorrow for all the "Have a nice day" people! I will be going to see it tonight with Janet, Sue, and some other people!

Break a leg and good luck to Chorale and Glee Club!!! I will be there Saturday night with some Alumni! I can't wait to see my kids :)

Thats all... Peace

Current Music: Spamalot

Currently Listening
Sexy Back
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you couldn't give me enough money to go back to high school... Sorry Drew but I'm serious. I'm now at Edgewood High School with the Lovely and amazing Sue Combs. It is going well. This is my second day and I'm already having a blast! I miss the little kids and Miss Ray ALOT but i'm having a good time. My schedule everyday for Edgewood is:
7:25- Be in the building ready to go
7:45-8:33- Free plan period
8:38-9:27- Concert choir
9:32-10:20- Concert choir prt2
10:25- 11:55- SHOW CHOIR
12:00- 12:48- AIC or the in school suspension... debbie downer
12:53-1:42- Drama
1:47- 2:35- Drama prt2
2:40-2:55 wait for the students to leave
3:00-? - I go work out at the YMCA then go home.

* On Monday nights we have rehearsal from 6:30 to 9 with the showchoir.

Now I have to brag alittle about the showchoir. I think that they are such an amazing group of kids. I can't get over how many kids are involved with sports and other activities in the school. I love the show concept this year, the different dances, the songs, and I love the students. They are full of life and have so much energy. They are starting to get to know me and I love it. I think that they are going to be winning ALOT of stuff this year.

So, how is high school compared to the elementary? I have thought about this question all day yesterday b/c I didn't know what to think. Both are 2 different worlds. The students are older, smarter, and have more energy (Believe it or not). But I miss the greetings in the morning, I miss the high fives after they leave, I miss the line leaders and the "Cool" book bags. I do miss the little ones a lot but I'm having a fun time. I will say that i do NOT miss high school at all. I had an amazing time at HHS but I had an even BETTER time at Miami.

SO the only reason I am writing to you all right now is because Edgewood is Wireless and I brought my apple with me to work on stuff and to stay Online :) I hope that you all are having a great Tuesday and I will be talking to all of you soon.

make sure to go and see "Have a nice Day" in middletown this weekend. I will be going on Friday night!

PEACE

Current Music: JT

dnesday, October 11, 2006
Currently Listening
Catching Tales
By Jamie Cullum
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" Why do you have to leave?!?!"

it has been an amazing 8 weeks. This is the last week I have with the elementary school at Montgomery and i'm already starting to get sad. I have taught for 2 weeks straight with little help from Lissa and I have been evaluated 5 times from Dr. Edwards. Overtime was good and she thought that I'm progressing well. I have had so much fun with the little ones and getting to know the school system. I talked to the principle about becoming a sub for the school and she said that they were already to put me on the list. That made my day! We are having a staff meeting tomorrow and they are throwing me a "Good bye meeting". Lissa called the staff and told them to do it... I almost cried. The best/sad moment was on tuesday when the kindergarten class was lining up to go. She told them that i was leaving and wouldn't;t be back. My favorite little boy , connor, started to cry and said "Why do you have to leave?" I told him that i was a student teacher and I had to. Then he hugged me and said "Pweez come back and see me." I was 2 sec. away from crying and I hugged him and said goodbye. This morning I saw him and waved and he waved back and said goodbye... I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

Lissa has been one of the most amazing teacher that I have ever seen. Her discipline, education, care, and dedication to the students is amazing. I can't imagine student teaching ANYWHERE else. She has made the biggest impression on me and how I want to teach my classes. She has not only given me so many material things, but the advice she gives me everyday is going to come in so handy. She told me that when I get my first job, she is the FIRST person I call... I will always remember her and the most amazing experience I have had...

This weekend I was lucky enough to go to the acapella concert and man it was hard. I loved seeing everyone and OMG you all did an amazing job. THe cheezies started it off and i was so proud of them. A lot of new people this year in all the groups... The misfitz were next and I must say that Kristina is doing an amazing job with them. Their sound was great and they had a lot of stage presence. Now for my boys... The remnants. It was really hard to sit there in Hall and watch them perform. They started out with "Africa" and I almost peed my pants. It took me back to MY first remnant concert and singing that song, hearing Zach Williams sing the high part. Then they sang a weird song, then "Roll to me" This song has a speical place in my heart b/c I will always remember JonnyO singing it for the Cheezies our freshman year. That was HIS SONG. The new remnant who sang it was ok, but I couldn't help but only hear JonnyO's voice in the process. Then the unthinkable... They started "good ol Acapella"... I wasn't prepared for it at all and it started and I just closed my eyes... Then I heard Patty start singing and OMG... It was amazing. I was so PROUD of him and the way he made it his own. Pat is amazing, a great leader, and i feel like he is my little brother. I'm so proud of him. I'm very proud of the new remnants, the old remnants, and all the acapella kids. The concert was great and I know that there is more to come for this year.

Well, we all know that I can't relax and I have to do extra stuff. So while i'm student teaching with Sue at Edgewood, I will also be acting in Julie's show "Smoke on the Mountain" for Civic theatre. i'm very excited to get back into theatre and hang out with the theatre folk again. I need to be in a show and I really enjoy the part. I have my lines memorized already (I swear Janet I do) and I just need to learn the music. I will be giving out the dates of the show a little later in the months to come.

Grey's has got me again and I watched the "Knit a sweater" episode the other day and you know... Thats what im doing... i'm knitting a sweater and waiting for my life to start. I want to have my career in order and slow down. I want the future to come and slow down so then I will be ready for a boy. Does that make sense? I need my life to click before anything romantic happens with me. I have had my eyes on some people and Sam and I are still talking but I need time for me. This has been an overwhelming change for me this year and I need some time to adjust. I'm trying to find who I really am. I was taken out of my environment where I ruled the world. I had friends at every corner and when I was bored, I could call 100 people and say meet me here in 5 min and they all would be there. I can't do that anymore. I get up at 6:00 am, drive to work, teach til 4, drive to the YMCA and work out, go home and eat, do lesson plans, read email, and then sleep. I know that it sounds like i'm complaining but it really is amazing. I have figured somethings out already in my life. I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I know what I want in a partner, how many kids I want, and other random things. Life is good and I miss my friends but its good.

I think it's time to sleep. Tomorrow I'm getting my last evaluation from Kay and then my evaluation from Lissa... Big day... Good night all

Currently Watching
Grey's Anatomy - Season Two
By Ellen Pompeo, Sandra Oh, Katherine Heigl, Justin Chambers, T.R. Knight, Chandra Wilson, James Pickens Jr., Kate Walsh, Isaiah Washington, Patrick Dempsey
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Thinking leads to no answers

Lets all take a trip back to Thursday, shall we...
As I watched the season premier of "Grey's Anatomy, I couldn't help that be thankful that I was in a room full of friends. I had to go to Miami that day for a student teacher meeting and decided to stay and hang out. I ended up watching it with Serena, Krisitna, Kate N, and their housemates. I got home to see many different IMs on my computer that said "I didn't like the new Grey's". I thought that people were crazy! That they didn't REALLY watch it. So on friday, after I came home from a VERY long day of school, I came home, took a nap and decided to watch Grey's again, to make sure that I can watch the WHOLE thing without others talking. I must say that I agree with everything that happened. I think that the show had too many things going on. I was very upset about Dr. Bailey and the fact that she broke down crying. She is the Rock on the show. The women who keeps all emotion inside and when something really bad happens, you can see the intensity in her face and expressions but never a tear. I think that the intro of a Plague and all the other weird medical things were TOO far fecthed. I, however, loved the flashbacks from each character. The brilliant character development that is going on. I still dislike McDreamy and the fact that he is now making GREY choose... I was NOT happy. I feel that this is going to be an amazing season but I feel that the writers need to pace themselves on the CRAZY medical stuff.

So that was my rant about Grey's. I think that it all came clear to me while I watched about 7 episodes on Saturday of Season 2. I will warn you all that it will suck you in and will NOT let you get anything done. I love the show and I feel that season 2 will relate to ANYONE and ANYONE's problems. it will make you think and that will lead you to no answers. The feeling that things are somehow NOT right but everything is under control. It's weird to talk about but I feel like it all makes sense right now. I have thought about a lot of things and the future (Most of you now that I do this ALL the time) and I'm just not patient enough to deal with the waiting... but I have too.

Things are going well and student teaching is better then ever. Last week I taught all 5 first grade classes, 2 kindergartens, 4 of the fourth grades, 3 second graders, and half of all the third graders. I'm slowly becoming the teacher and I couldn't be happier. The staff and the students have been amazing and I have start to make my first Imac movie about my student teaching. This is going to go into my online portfolio (Which is stupid, but I have to make one). It will show the different teaching styles that I posses and the different lesson plans I created for the students. it is so hard to create this movie so if ANYONE has ANY experience on that, please give me a call or comment :)

I hope that everyone has a GREAT week and WHO DEY!

P.S. I miss Beth McClain more then I miss an episode of Grey's Anatomy... :)

WOW

the past weekend was AMAZING and for many different reasons...

Friday- It was a long day of school but I was able to go and get the fine Arts staff some Panera for lunch so that was nice. I then went to see "Cirque du Soleil" in Cinci. I went with Serena, which was so nice b/c i haven't hung out with her in so long We talked about alot of stuff and we both LOVED the show. Kristina wood is CRAZY b/c she didn't like it as much as she thought she would... I thought that it was BRILLIANT! I was so amazed by the talent, the flexibility and the fact that there was NO body fat on stage what so ever... :) The stage was set up like a huge tent and had the orchestra in the background. The music reminded both of us of A.R.R which made us both remind ourselves of the shows last year lol. We came back to Miami and I went to see my boys. I miss them so much. Jonnyo, Patty, Dave R, Brandon were all at the house and then Jared came home. I miss um and it was neat to hear about the retreat for the year. I couldn't get over the fact that they were going to the same church like last year... CRAZY! I think that Patty is doing a GREAT job with club and everyone LOVES him. Im so proud. I then went home after an hour and was in bed ready to go tot he Orff conference ...

Saturday- I went to the first Orff conference of the year in Mason. I had so much fun and I learned so much. It is so amazing to go to a conference with a BUNCH of music ed teachers. they are soo funny and love to laugh and talk to eachother. Im going to be like that when I get older but I promise you all now, as God as my witness, I will NEVER buy clothes with musical notation on it... NO! I can't begin to tell you how many treble clefs I have seen on sweater vests and scarfs... BLAH! But I had a blast and I love hanging with Lissa Ray and Dr. Kay. They are helping me with all of my training with elementary music. I can't describe the feeling of going to work everyday to work with kids. I love it! So I came home and chilled the rest of the night.

I want to apologize for my last entry. I was a little emotional and gay... :) I have such an amazing life right now and I can't begin to feel sad or depressed about ONE thing that I don't have you know? I have a great family, I'm at a wonderful school teaching and learning, and I have AMAZING friends who would drop everything to help me. I know that things will get better and that I will find someone for me but I need to "Knit my sweater" for a while...

ps I just got "Grey's Anatomy season 2" on dvd and its amazing... Im getting NOTHING done but lets be honest that show is amazing!

Well I think that is all I can say right now but I hope all is wel lw With everyone and that all of you are having a good time. God bless you all and remember I love you all :) Here are the lyrics to Justin Timberlakes new song, "Another Love Song" from his new Cd!

You've been alone, you've been afraid
I've been a fool
In so many ways
but I would change my life
If you thought you, might try to love me
So please give me another chance
To write you another song
And take back those things I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over,
Again

I'm not a saint
I'm just a man
Who had heaven and Earth
In the palm of his hand
but I threw it away
So now I stand here today asking forgiveness and if you could just please
Give me another chance
to write you another song
And take back those thing's I've done
Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over
Again

Little girl you're all I've got
don't you leave me standing here once again
Cause I'll give you my life
Yes I would
If you would let me try to let me love you

So please give me another chance to write you another song and take back those thing's I've done

Cause I'll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over
Again

Currently Listening
FutureSex / LoveSounds
By Justin Timberlake
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its a long one...

I'm sitting here WANTING to sleep b/c I have had a very LONG week. But I have so many things running through my mind. "What does it take for you to finally see that something good is here, in front of you, staring at your face and longing to be with you. Why can't you just see it? Why can't you believe that someone Wants to be with YOU?"- A Time it Takes

This week of teaching has been very hard b/c its the first week where I have been teaching full classes. I have taken on the first graders and the fourth graders. I'm so tired after I get done but I can't begin to explain the overwhelming joy I have for teaching. I go into student teaching with a smile on my face everyday. I love seeing the children in the mornings waving to me as they walk into school saying "Good morning Mr. Schneider." I have created 4 different lesson plans for each grade and they have started on most of them. The best feeling I have had this week was on Wednesday morning with the fourth graders. I planned for them to create rhythm word chains and for them to pick themes and words for them. I didn't know if they would like it or not but when we started putting all the notes together and working the different rhythms, the kids looked so excited! While they were lining up at the door, one of my favorite students came up to me and said "Mr. Schneider, You are the coolest teacher I know..." I almost cried :) I have been so happy with my experience and I really think that i will have a great time with the high schoolers. I went to their first rehearsal on monday night and they are ROCKIN this year. i very excited to work with such talented young adults.

I have been working out alot at the YMCA recently and its been good but man I have been so sore. I have a new workout plan that is helping me stay energized with the student teaching. I will get on the elliptical for about 40 minutes, then stretch out my legs. After the stretch, I go and lift waits for about 30 min and then abs. I want to stay ahead of the game and being at home, I have the opportunity to become very lazy and eat all the time. I'm glad I have been able to get up and go tot he YMCA at night. I go from like 8 - 9:30 so its a nice time for me to workout b/c I just come home, shower, and go to bed. Tonight is different though...

So to reintroduce the real reason for writing this xanga tonight... "What does it take for you to finally see that something good is here, in front of you, staring at your face and longing to be with you. Why can't you just see it? Why can't you believe that someone Wants to be with YOU?"- A Time it Takes
... I have been fighting this off and pn for a while and I don't know what to do. I have a busy schedule with student teaching and really trying to take care of my family. My dad had a kidney stone this week, grandma fell, and mom just needs some emotional support. I long for someone to be with me. I know that it sounds kind of stupid and I know that it sounds really Gay but I want a relationship. But i want a relationship where we call when we can, we see eachother when we can, we write random texts or comments. I miss the nights of talking with someone amazing, and really getting into their head. I have recently read some different xangas and other things and I just wish that people would realize that love is RIGHT THERE. I know that I really can't say much about jumping into something b/c I'm such a futuristic person. I look in the future and forget about the current life I'm living. But if you really miss someone and really want to be with that person... YOU SHOULD...

So why am I not taking that advice? Because I'm scared. I hate rejection and I have had that happen too many times. I want the boy to pursue me. I want to be asked to be in the relationship or at least talk about it you know. I don't want a gay ring, or show my pride with my boyfriend. I HATE PDA and most of my friends will tell you that. When I get a little tipsy, I get very touchy and I don't mean to. I think I miss the fact of talking. I don't have a "Gay Best Friend" to talk to about things. I'm stuck in my parent's house with my PARENTS (Who i don't want to talk about gay things with) and My brother (SAME THING). I'm away from my close friends and anyone who I have had a crush on or want something from. I'm tired and i'm writing alot of stuff that might not make sense but I hope that it does. It doesn't matter if you are busy, or that the distance is great, what matters is the fun and excitement of meeting that ONE person that you have ALWAYS had a thing for and you can talk to them about anything. Love works and its all around us. Will you find it or will you let it slowly sit on the back burner until its too late...

Good night all and thanks for reading :)

Currently Listening
Underage Thinking
By Teddy Geiger
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sunday then brings monday

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere." ---
Tim McGraw

I saw this qoute from a friend on myspace and I couldn't get over how true it really is. I haven't traveled far or started a brand new life, but I still feel separated from the people I have grown to love. The late night food runs, Family Guy marathons, going to Kroger and acting like a gay couple with JonnyO, singing with 100 guys, knowing at least ONE person as you walk to every class, and the talks outside of any building with a friend. I miss that so much. Here in hamilton, I have great parents, a wonderful brother, and amazing neighbors, but its not the same and I don't know how to get over it.

this weekend was the first weekend where I really felt like an adult. I had plan lessons for monday and tuesday for grades k-4. We are not going to get to them but Lissa wanted me to be prepared just in case. I'm going to be observed by Dr. Kay on wednesday (She is the professor from Miami who rates my student teaching and gives me a grade for it). I'm a little more nervous this time b/c she is looking for a good lesson. Im going to be teaching a first grade class while she is here. They are a good class and I'm glad that she will be observing me with them, but you never know what could happen with little kids after lunch. i'm going to do a lesson about dynamics in music. Forte and Piano is what the kids will be learning. I'm going to play hayden's "Surprise Symphony." They will listen to is and discuss what made it so different then other pieces. I did this last time in Mason and the kids really loved it!

I went to see "The Light in the Piazza" on Saturday and it was ok. I liked Clara (The daughter) alot. She has an amazing voice but I thought there were times that she was bored. Her tone was kind of weird but I don't know. I wasn't a fan of Margaret (the mom) but again I saw this in NYC with Victoria Clark as the mom... OMG that was AMAZING! all in all it was good for a touring company and I just love the music of Adam Guttel! He is Brilliant and one day Beth will be working with him b/.c she knows him... that weiner! I miss her alot!

Well its time to go to bed and be ready for the kids tomorrow! I love and miss you all and please keep your prays in line for Jared Lurie. He is a very good friend of mine from miami and he went to the hospital b/c of different things on Friday. I just want him to be safe and ok. Thanks everyone! Have a great MONDAY!!

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